Separation in the family

Divorce or the dissolution of cohabitation

1. We have divorced or separated, and we have children younger than 18. What should we do? 

The parents are always primarily responsible for the wellbeing of their children. It is their duty to ensure the balanced development of the child even if the family’s situation changes. In the event of a separation, the parents must decide with whom of them the child’s permanent residence will be registered. A dual-residence arrangement is also a possibility. When there is no dual-residence arrangement, the purpose of defining the child’s visitation rights is to guarantee the child the right to maintain contact and to meet with the parent with whom the child’s place of residence is not registered. The child has the right to see both of their parents, even if only one parent has custody of the child. According to the Child Maintenance Act, the parents are responsible for the maintenance of the child. A parent may be ordered to pay child support to the other parent if the parent does not otherwise take care of maintaining the child or if the child does not permanently live with the parent or if the child lives alternately with the parent and another parent or guardian.

2. Do we need to sign written agreements in the event of separation?

No, if you as parents are able to agree on things peacefully. However, it is good to know that only a confirmed written agreement can be enforced, and only in this case can child support be collected by way of enforcement.

3. If the parents have written and signed an agreement together, and the agreement has also been signed by witnesses, is the agreement valid and official?

The parents may adhere to such a mutual agreement, but an agreement of this kind is not enforceable. For example, Kela (the Social Insurance Institution of Finland) cannot pay child maintenance allowance based on such an agreement if one of the parents neglects to pay child support or the paid child support is smaller than the child maintenance allowance valid at the time. Similarly, visitation rights can only be enforced on the grounds of an official, confirmed agreement or a court decision.

4. How can we get official agreements?

As a principle, parents have freedom of contract when it comes to child custody, the child’s place of residence, visitation rights, and maintenance. An agreement is enforceable if it has been written with the help of the child welfare officer of the child’s wellbeing services county. The child welfare officer confirms such agreements if they are in line with the child’s best interests. An agreement confirmed like this is as legally binding as a court decision.

Decisions on child custody, residence, visitation rights, and maintenance can also be made during the parents’ divorce process. In this case, these matters are brought to the district court in the home municipality of one of the parents as a secondary claim connected to the divorce petition.

5. How can I book an appointment with a child welfare officer?

The parents should think about and discuss the content of their agreements in advance, and then book a mutual appointment with a child welfare officer. You should see the child welfare officer in the child’s wellbeing services county.Negotiations can be conducted remotely. In all cases, parents must discuss together the matters to be agreed upon, and unilateral changes to agreements are not possible with the child welfare officer. Securing child custody and right of access Securing child support

6. What do I need to know before seeing a child welfare officer?

The parents are the contractual parties involved in matters concerning child custody, visitation rights, residence, and maintenance. The child welfare officer will not decide the contents of their agreement. Instead, the parents negotiate the terms of the agreement with each other. The child welfare officer is there to help the parents reach an agreement and to write an enforceable agreement that covers the matters on which the parents have agreed.  As a rule, the agreement can only be made if both parents are present.

The parents are recommended to sign agreements at the time the parents move to separate addresses or apply for a final divorce. In other words, it is recommended to draw up agreements when you already have a somewhat clear vision of the changes that will affect your family, enabling you to make arrangements concerning your child.

7. What if the parents live in different wellbeing services counties?

The premise is that the parents are together in the negotiation. If the parents live in different welfare areas, the negotiation can be conducted remotely. The parents must jointly agree on an appointment with the child supervisor, and the parents book the negotiation time for the welfare area according to the child's home municipality. Securing child custody and right of access

8. Will the child be heard? How do we take the child’s opinion into account?

It is the responsibility of the parents and adults to resolve matters related to child custody, living arrangements, visitation rights and maintenance.  Children do not decide these matters. The child welfare officer will only hear the child in exceptional situations. When it comes to making agreements, the parents are responsible for making decisions on the matters of underage children. Nonetheless, when doing so, the parents must keep the children’s best interests in mind and take their opinions into account. In principle, the parents are assumed to know what is best for their child and what is the best way to ensure that the child’s everyday life continues as undisrupted as possible.

The child welfare officer can only confirm agreements on which both parents agree unanimously.

According to the Act on Child Custody and Right of Access (361/1983), if the parents cannot reach a unanimous agreement on a matter concerning child custody and visitation rights, the wishes and views of the child must be heard if this is possible in view of the age and stage of development of the child.

In the case of disputes, social workers appointed to the task will hear the child in connection with preparing a report on the parents’ circumstances by request of the District Court. According to the Act on Child Custody and Right of Access, a matter concerning child custody and the right of access must be decided in accordance with the best interests of the child, whether it is solved with the help of a child welfare officer or by the district court. The child’s best interests and what the child wants are not always the same thing. The child’s wishes and opinion are only some of the factors that affect the assessment of the child’s best interests.

9. We are unable to agree on the matters concerning our children. How do we solve this?

It is extremely important that you reach an agreement in matters that concern your children. A mutual agreement between the parents often reduces their conflicts, which is why it is also best for the child. If you cannot reach a mutual agreement despite your efforts, you can apply for family mediation. If mediation is not sufficient for reaching an agreement, one or both parents may bring the matter to the district court. A matter concerning child custody, residence, visitation rights, and maintenance should be instituted in the district court in whose judicial district the child’s place of residence or permanent residence is.

Even at this stage, the parents may request the district court for expert-assisted mediation. To apply for mediation, submit a freely formulated application or use an application form available from the district court office. The parties may apply for mediation together, or one of them may apply alone. The mediation is led by a judge familiar with family matters. The judge is assisted by a child psychologist or social worker.

1. With which parent will the child live?

If the parents have joint custody but do not live together, they must decide with which one the child lives with and is registered as living with. Decisions on residence must be made in the child’s best interests. The parents must discuss the situation together and consider the different options, especially from the child’s perspective. It is important to consider how the child’s daily life and living arrangements are best organised in practice. We recommend that you consider making a parenting plan (THL:s parenting plan(external link) in Finnish) to help you navigate the situation. Scroll down to find the parenting plan in English (PDF 215 KB).

2. We have met a child welfare officer, but we have not been able to decide who will live with the child and with whom the child will be registered – what should we do?

You may contact family mediation to help you reach a peaceful agreement. If the parents cannot agree on the child’s place of residence through family mediation, they must bring the matter to the district court. Even at this stage, the parents may ask the district court for mediation. All district courts in Finland offer expert-assisted court mediation. To apply for mediation, submit a freely formulated application or use an application form available from the district court office. The parties may apply for mediation together, or one of them may apply alone. The mediator is a judge acquainted with family matters. The judge is assisted by psychologist or a social worker specialising in child-related matters.

3. What does dual residence mean?

Dual residence means that the child spends an equal amount of time living with both parents, taking turns between their homes. However, the child’s official place of residence can only be registered with one parent. The child’s local school and school transport among other things depend on the address where the child’s place of residence is registered. When it comes to housing allowance and several other benefits that may be granted to you, the child is only counted as a member in one of the parents’ households. Child benefit can only be paid to one parent, and it is usually paid to the parent with whom the child’s place of residence is registered.

For dual residence to work, the parents must be able to cooperate very well and be very flexible. The decision to initiate a dual residence arrangement must be based on the child’s needs and best interests, not on the parents’ wishes or financial interests.

4. When is dual residence a good solution?

When parents demand dual residence, they are often motivated by the idea that dual residence will ensure that the parents are equal. Often, they also have financial reasons. The child may also favour dual residence without actually understanding what it means in practice. The decision to adopt this living arrangement must always be considered very carefully, as different living and visitation arrangements must be evaluated from the viewpoint of the child’s best interests and needs.

If the child is to move between two homes constantly, the parents must be able to make the practical arrangements work. The parents must be able to plan carefully ahead and anticipate the child’s visits. The younger the child is, the more challenging dual residence will be for the child. It is beneficial if the child is old enough and capable enough to plan ahead and anticipate the future. The child also needs to be able to adapt as different rules and routines with each parent require a great deal of flexibility from the child. At best, dual residence is very rewarding for the child, as it enables them to share both parents’ daily life.

Research suggests that dual residence works the best if this arrangement has been chosen because it serves the child’s needs and the parents meet the following conditions:

• The parents share their parenting duties and cooperate to ensure that the child’s daily life goes well.
• The parents are on good terms and are able to cooperate.
• The parents have a positive and flexible attitude towards the fact that the child spends time with the other parent.
• The parents communicate information to each other on the child’s daily life at each home.

When it comes to the child, the child needs to be willing and able to live in two homes. Furthermore, the child needs to be old enough to understand what is going on in their life. It is also important for the parents to live near each other as this enables the child to always attend the same day care centre or school and have an intact social life.

1. What does child custody mean?

Child custody means taking care of a child’s personal matters.  The child’s guardians are the parents or persons to whom custody of the child is entrusted. The person who has custody (the guardian) has the right to decide on the care, upbringing, place of residence and other personal matters of the child. Guardians have the right to receive information about the child from the authorities. They also represent the child in matters concerning the child’s person. Under the Guardianship Services Act (442/1999), the child’s custodian also acts as the child’s legal guardian (“edunvalvoja”), supervising the child’s interests and managing their financial affairs.

The form of custody does not affect the taxation or social security (for example the single-parent increase to the child benefit) of either of the parents. Furthermore, the form of custody does not affect the child’s right to meet the parent who lives elsewhere, or the parent’s responsibility to take care of child maintenance. Custody of the child ends when the child turns 18.

2. What does joint custody mean?

Joint custody means parental cooperation and joint decision-making in the aforementioned matters concerning the child. Joint custody requires that the parents be able to discuss with each other and make mutual decisions concerning the child. However, the parent who lives with the child may decide on the child’s everyday matters and daily care regardless of having joint custody.

Joint custody does not mean that the child takes turns to live with both parents.

3. What does sole custody mean?

Sole custody means that only one of the parents is the child’s guardian, and that parent makes all decisions concerning the child by themselves. The authorities (such as day care centres, schools, health care and social services) disclose information about the child only to the guardian. This information can be disclosed to the other parent only if the guardian gives their permission. However, the non-custodial parent decides on the child’s daily care and upbringing when the child is staying with them.

Sole custodianship does not affect the child’s visitation rights concerning the other parent or the other parent’s obligation to maintain the child.

4. The other parent of my child is going to move. We have joint custody. Is the parent who lives with the child allowed to move?

The guardians should discuss the child’s matters and make decisions on them together, as this is the principle of joint custody. However, if they cannot reach an agreement, there are no coercive measures that the other joint custodian could use to stop the live-in parent from moving within Finland. However, a move may be such an essential change that the child’s visitation agreement (and the maintenance agreement, if necessary) must be renegotiated. The guardians may also agree to have the child move to live with the other parent, if this is in the child’s best interests. If the child only has one guardian, they will decide on the child’s place of residence. Regardless of the form of custody, the guardians should decide on their place of residence in a manner that takes into account the child’s right to meet and stay in contact with the parent the child does not live with. if the parents are unable to reach a mutual agreement, they may apply to the district court for a decision on the division of tasks concerning residence.

5. My child needs a passport, but I am unable to contact the other parent. What can I do to get a passport for my child?

A child’s passport application must always include a written, individualised permission from the guardian who is not present when the application is submitted. Your child may get a passport without the other guardian’s consent only for a special reason, for example if the other guardian is unable to give their consent because they are travelling, ill or if there is another appropriate reason. A temporary passport may also be granted to your child for a certain trip if you meet certain specific criteria (see: https://poliisi.fi/en/passport).

If the other guardian refuses to give their consent, a minor can still be issued a passport, if not issuing it would be clearly contrary to the child’s best interests and if it can be considered obvious that the child is only temporarily going to be taken to another country against the consent of the other guardian. The authority issuing the passport is in charge of determining the child’s best interests on a case-by-case basis.

6. What does co-custody mean and how to apply for it?

Co-custody (also called co-guardianship) means that a co-guardian has custody of the child in addition to the parent(s). A co-custody arrangement may be established by a child welfare supervisor or by a court decision. In both cases, the prerequisite is that co-custody is in the best interests of the child.

A court may decide to entrust custody of the child, in addition to the parents, to one or several persons who have given their consent. Co-custody does not relieve the parents of their maintenance responsibility. Neither is the co-guardian liable to maintain the child.

When the desire for co-custody is mutual among the parents and is considered to be in the child’s best interests, the parents can also agree on co-custody with an agreement confirmed by a child welfare officer. In this case, in addition to the parents, the person agreeing to become a co-guardian is also a contractual party to the agreement. It is worth remembering that after the confirmation of co-custody, the co-guardian will be a party to every agreement related to the child's custody; either as a contractual party or as an approver of the agreement (for example, concerning a possible visitation agreement between the parents).

A child welfare officer can also confirm co-custody in situations where the child has only one legal guardian/parent. In this case, an agreement is drawn up for co-custody with the child’s only parent and the future co-guardian as the contractual parties.

7. As parents, we want to make arrangements for our children’s future in case something happens to us. Can we use our last will and testament to hand over custody of our children to a family member or a close friend?

The provisions on custody of children are laid down in the Act on Child Custody and Right of Access (361/1983). It states that the parents of a child or other persons who have been awarded custody of a child by a court decision are the child’s guardians.

If one or both parents who have custody of their child die, a district court may award custody of the child to one or several other persons who have given their consent for it. After the Social and Health Services Committee has been informed of a child left without a custodian, it will negotiate with persons who are close to the child and submit a petition to a district court to have a custodian appointed for the child. The child’s relatives or other loved ones may also submit such a petition.

The district court of the child’s place of residence appoints the new custodian.  Decisions on matters that concern child custody must first and foremost be in the best interests of the child. The wishes and opinions of the child must be heard if this is possible in view of the age and stage of development of the child.

You cannot use your last will and testament to decide who will have custody of your child. As parents, you may however name a person that you would like to become your child’s guardian. Your wish will be taken into consideration, but it does not bind the authorities. Instead, a district court will always make a custody decision in the child’s best interests.

8. I am a sole custodian, and I would like to make arrangements for my child’s future in case something happens to me. Can I use my last will and testament to appoint the custody of my child to my sister?

If a child’s sole guardian dies, a district court may award custody of the child to one or several other persons who have given their consent for it. After the Social and Health Services Committee has been informed of a child left without a custodian, it will negotiate with persons who are close to the child and submit a petition to a district court to have a custodian appointed for the child. The child’s non-custodial parent, the child’s relatives or other loved ones may also submit such a petition.

The district court of the child’s place of residence appoints the new custodian. Decisions on matters that concern child custody must first and foremost be in the best interests of the child. The wishes and opinions of the child must be heard if this is possible in view of the age and stage of development of the child.

You cannot use your last will and testament to decide who will have custody of your child. As the sole custodian, you may however name a person that you would like to become your child’s custodian. Your wish will be taken into consideration, but it does not bind the authorities. Instead, the district court will always make a custody decision in the child’s best interests.

9. What if a child is left without a guardian?

If the person having custody of a child has died and no one therefore has custody of the child, a district court may, upon petition, award custody of the child to one or several other persons who have given their consent to becoming custodians. After the Social and Health Services Committee has been informed of a child left without a custodian, it will negotiate with persons who are close to the child and submit a petition to a district court to have a custodian appointed for the child. The child’s other parent who is not the child’s custodian, the child’s relatives or other loved ones may also submit such a petition.

The district court of the child’s place of residence appoints the new custodian.  Decisions on matters that concern child custody must first and foremost be in the best interests of the child. The wishes and opinions of the child must be heard, if this is possible in view of the age and stage of development of the child.

1. What matters are agreed on in connection with visitation rights?

The purpose of visitation rights is to ensure a child the right to maintain contact and meet with the parent with whom the child does not live. When you draw up a visitation rights agreement, you should consider the child’s age, school, day care, hobbies, and the distance between the parents’ homes. When you are preparing the agreement, you may feel that there is no need to define and write down the child’s visitation rights. We still recommend that you do. To avoid disputes, it is a good idea to define the visitation rights in as much detail as possible. If the parent who does not live with the child applies for social assistance from Kela to cover the costs that arise from meeting with the child, Kela will require a visitation rights agreement(external link).

When you agree on visitation rights, it is a good idea to agree on the child’s ordinary weekly schedule but also on rides to hobbies, holidays, and bank holidays such as summer, Christmas, Easter and school breaks. In addition to meetings, the visitation rights agreement may also cover other forms of contact, the child’s transportation to the other parent’s home and the division of travel costs caused by these visits, if necessary. The parents should discuss these matters before meeting a child welfare officer.

Decisions on the child’s matters must be made in the child’s best interests. The parents must negotiate and consider different options first and foremost from the child’s viewpoint. When they draw up a visitation rights agreement, the parents must think about the best way to organise the child’s everyday life. A parenting plan may be helpful at this point (external link)( thl.fi in Finnish). Scroll down to find the parenting plan in English (PDF 215 KB).

2. Our visitation rights agreement was confirmed by a child welfare officer or a district court, but it does not work in practice. Who can help me?

The child has the right to remain in contact with the remote parent, regardless of how well or poorly the parents get along. If the parents disagree on the realisation of the visitation rights, they may seek family mediation. If the confirmed agreement does not correspond to the reality of your situation, a previous agreement or decision may be amended either by a new agreement or by a court decision.

3. I am not allowed to meet my child. What can I do?

If the parents have a visitation rights agreement which has been confirmed by a child welfare officer, or a court decision on visitation rights, it binds both parents. If the live-in parent prevents the child and the remote parent from seeing each other, the remote parent should apply for enforcement of their rights from a district court by submitting a written application to the district court’s registry. If one of the parents has not adhered to the valid, confirmed visitation rights agreement or a court decision on the matter, its enforcement can be sought from the district court. A penalty payment may be imposed and the child may be fetched as coercive measures. However, enforcement may not be carried out if the child, who is 12 years old or younger but mature enough, objects.

The person who applies for enforcement may be the live-in guardian who demands that the child be returned to them, or the remote parent who demands that the confirmed visitation rights be enforced. However, regardless of confirmed visitation rights, the live-in parent cannot demand that the other parent be obligated to meet the child.

Courts usually first send a pending matter to enforcement mediation. The goal of mediation is to have the involved parties voluntarily adhere to the court decision or agreement. If the matter cannot be solved through mediation, the court issues an enforcement decision that obligates the opposing party to hand over the child to the applicant (enforcement of custody) or to allow the meetings between the child and the other parent (enforcement of visitation rights). During the enforcement court proceedings, the terms and conditions of the confirmed visitation rights can be amended or specified either temporarily or even permanently if the amendment or specification is very small.

The application for enforcement should be submitted to the district court at the place of residence of the child or the opposing party. The enforcement application must be written. As an attachment, it must include visitation rights agreement or court decision on visitation rights, either the original one or a copy certified by the authority that issued the decision. In disputes that concern children, it is highly important that the parents reach a mutual understanding. A mutual agreement between the parents often reduces their conflicts, which is why it is also best for the child.

If you do not have a confirmed agreement or court decision on visitation rights, you cannot apply for enforcement. In such situations, the parents first need to agree on visitation rights. Or, if they are unable to reach an agreement even with the help of a child welfare officer, they may bring the matter to a district court to have the visitation rights confirmed.

 

If there are problems in the fulfilment of the visitation rights, the parents may also turn to family mediation.

4. My child’s father/mother does not meet with the child as we agreed. Is there a way I can force them to meet with the child?

Regardless of confirmed visitation rights, the live-in parent cannot demand that the other parent be obligated to meet the child. An enforced meeting cannot be considered to be in the child’s best interests.

5. I am worried about letting my child meet the other parent in the other parent’s home. What could I do?

When the child’s visitation rights are agreed or decided on, it is possible that some risks emerge. If these risks make it impossible to hand over the child safely to the exclusive care of the parent who meets the child, it is possible to arrange supported or supervised meetings instead. (Linkki sisäisesti Tapaamisten valvontaan)

6. My child does not want to see the other parent. What should I do?

The purpose of visitation rights is to ensure a child the right to maintain contact and meet with the parent with whom the child does not live. Visitation rights are primarily the child’s right. The parents’ task is to ensure that the child has a positive, close relationship with both of them. If the child does not want to meet with the other parent, the parents should endeavour to find out why. If necessary, the parents may turn to family counselling services. If there are problems in the fulfilment of visitation rights, the parents may also turn to family mediation. 

7. We have an agreement on visitation rights confirmed by a child welfare officer, but the other parent only meets with the child occasionally. Do I still have to prepare for the meetings according to the agreement every time?

The purpose of visitation rights is to ensure a child the right to maintain a close contact with the parent who lives elsewhere. If the parent repeatedly neglects the meetings, it is possible that the meetings are no longer in the child’s best interests. If the child waits for the other parent and is repeatedly disappointed, implementing visitation rights may be against the child’s best interests. The child’s right to visit the remote parent is a strong right. However, the visitation rights must not be turned around to become the parent’s right that is forced upon the child in a way that goes against the underlying principle of the visitation rights: the child’s best interests. The parent who meets the child needs to understand that visitation rights are not the parent’s rights that the parent may use when they please. Instead, it is a duty. If the parent neglects this duty constantly and repeatedly, the visitation rights may be reduced. In the last resort, a district court may refuse visitation rights upon application, if visitation rights are no longer in the child’s best interests.

In a situation like this, you should try to renegotiate the meetings in a way that suits the new situation with the help of a child welfare officer. Alternatively, you may turn to family mediation. If necessary, the meetings can be held in special meeting premises as supported or supervised meetings.

8. I am worried about my child’s safety. Do I have to let the child visit the other parent?

The purpose of visitation rights is to ensure a child the right to maintain contact and meet with the parent with whom the child does not live. According to the Act on Child Custody and Right of Access (361/1983), both parents must strive to fulfil the purpose of these rights. If the parents have a confirmed agreement or a court decision on visitation rights, it binds both parents.

However, the meetings may not threaten the child’s health, well-being or safety. For example, the live-in parent does not need to hand over the child if the other parent is intoxicated or behaves in a threatening manner. The live-in parent must assess the situation and decide whether to hand over the child.

If there are reasons why the live-in parent cannot safely hand over the child to the other parent, the terms and conditions of the visitation rights should be renegotiated. If necessary, the child and the remote parent may have supported or supervised meetings at designated meeting premises.

The parent who meets the child may apply for enforcement of the right of access from a district court. If the live-in parent prevents the child and the other parent from meeting for no acceptable reason, the district court may make a decision to enforce the parents’ visitation rights agreement or the court decision on visitation rights.

9. The other parent does not return the child after the meeting. What should I do?

The parent who meets the child may only keep the child within the limits of the visitation rights unless the parents agree otherwise. If the parents have not adhered to the court decision on child custody and visitation rights, or their visitation rights agreement confirmed by a child welfare officer, they may not apply for its enforcement from a district court. The child’s live-in custodian may demand the return of the child by submitting a written application to a district court’s registry.

Instead of a court, you may also request enforcement of a child custody decision from the bailiff of the child’s place of residence or the place where the child is regularly staying. This is possible if less than three months have passed since the decision has been given.

If you are worried about the child’s external conditions, please contact the social and crisis emergency services of Western Uusimaa that are available around the clock at the number 09 816 424 39.

Call the police if someone is threatening to abduct your child or take them out from the country.

1. What do child support and child maintenance allowance mean?

Child support (Finnish: elatusapu) is a monthly amount based on a child support agreement or a court decision, paid by the remote parent to take care of the child’s maintenance.

Child maintenance allowance (Finnish: elatustuki) is a monthly sum that the Finnish Social Insurance Institution (Kela) pays to a child. The child can get child maintenance allowance if the parent liable to maintain the child has not paid child support, or if the amount of confirmed child support is lower than the child maintenance allowance due to the parent’s insufficient maintenance capacity. The child can also get child maintenance allowance if the child does not have a second parent who would be liable for maintenance, either because the child has been adopted by a single parent or because the child’s paternity has not been confirmed. Child maintenance allowance can only be paid to a parent or guardian living in the same address as the child, or to an underage child who lives by themselves.

Read more: Amount and payment of child maintenance allowance (kela.fi)(external link)

Get support through these links:

• The Federation of Mother and Child Homes and Shelters(external link)
• Family Federation(external link)
• Family Counselling Centre(external link) (in Finnish)
• Mentalhub.fi(external link)
• Online Shelter(external link)
• National Crisis Helpline(external link)